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Brittany Lynch, RN, BScN, CSC Presents: Stepqueen by The Whole Stepfamily

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A Stepmom’s Guide To Abundance

December 30, 2019

How to Stop Working from Circumstance, Grab Life by the Horns, & Create Abundance

One of the biggest mistakes I see most burnt-out stepmoms make when it comes to creating abundance in their lives is this:

They’re waiting for someone or something outside of themselves to save them.

I used to be in this spot too, so I get it. Since I used to be there but I’m not anymore, it honestly breaks my heart to see so many women wake up every day with a heavy heart.

A mentor of mine once told me: If you’re not not where you want to be in your life, plain and simple, it’s because you’re working from circumstance. I want to see you succeed in anything and everything that you do, which is why I’m sharing this INVALUABLE information with you today.

When you read this article until the end, you’ll see very quickly that you’re probably putting your energy into the wrong things (aka the things keeping you stuck). I will show you how to put your energy into the right things (aka the things that create health, wealth, and abundance).

The Damsel In Distress

So, some examples of waiting for someone or something to save you are when you say things like “If I had X, then I would be Y.” Some (very common) examples that I hear are:

“If my partner didn’t have to pay his ex so much money in child support, then I could get my business off the ground.”

“If my stepkids would act in this specific way, then I would be happy.”

“If I had more money, then I could follow my dreams.”

“If I had more time, then I could finish this course.”

Now, this is a broken-a$$ model for several reasons:

Pay attention to this, because it’s FREAKING IMPORTANT.

If you do what you’ve always done, then you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. Is abundance on your mind in 2020? If so, what are you doing differently than you did in 2019?

The Definition of Insanity

Einstein said that we can never solve a problem at the same level we were at when we created it.

Read that one more time. We can never solve a problem at the same level we were at when we created it.

Which means a few things:

  1. People create their own problems. I create my own problems and you create your own problems. Every single thing in your life is a result of choices that you have made and continue to make. This is true for you, for me, for every Tom, Dick, and Harry out there.
  2. If you want to change your circumstances, you HAVE to change the way you show up in the world. Whether you want more 0’s at the end of your bank-account balance, less 0’s on the scale, or to give your partner’s ex 0 of your precious energy, then you absolutely, positively cannot continue to operate the same way as you are today.
  3. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

EV. ER. Y. THING. you have in life is a result of your choices. Everything.

People don’t become millionaires by accident. They become millionaires because they SHOW UP like millionaires. Every. Day.

People don’t rise above stapfamily drama by accident. They make the choice to do the deep inner-work. They find out why the hell they’re getting triggered by a 6 year old in the first place. Or why the hell they’re obsessed with their partner’s ex in the first place. Or why the hell they have such low self-worth that they’re even in a relationship with someone who treats them like a chunk of Hubba Bubba on the bottom of a shoe.

Choice. It’s all choice. Abundance or stressing about money? Choice to be a victim, or choice to be victorious. Choice to stay or choice to slay. Most people stay.

Queen of the Castle

Over the past decade, I’ve personally invested over $100,000 in education, coaches, mentors, therapy, and personal development to get to where I am today.

As a kid who grew up below the poverty line, I’ll tell you right now that I sure didn’t have a trust fund to pay for my nursing degree. I took out loans, went to school full-time during the day, worked evenings and weekends as a bartender, and escaped a family cycle of poverty.

And, as someone who lost her father and a stepfather to addiction, I’ll tell you right now that I didn’t have anyone to co-sign for me when I bought my first house at age 25. I made myself responsible for my financial well-being.

As a woman who grew up without a healthy model of a relationship, I’ll tell you right now that learning how to have a healthy, non-shady, respectful, non-violent, non crisis-filled, non-dramatic relationship with my amazing husband took a LOT of therapy and personal development on my part.

I’ll also tell you that absolutely 0% of the problems I used to think I had in my stepfamily had ANYTHING to do with anything except for my own unhealed wounds, insecurity, low self-worth, and inability to communicate.

And the rest is history.

How To Create Abundance

Sometimes I imagine where I’d be if I decided never to “take risks” in my life, in love, and in my business.

And sometimes, I wonder what my life would look like if I decided to stay in the cycles of poverty, abuse, and addiction that I grew up in. What life would look like if I didn’t go to university? If I remained “too afraid” to go to therapy? What would life would look like if I had never invested that first $5,000 in my first business coach? What would life look like if I continued to feel threatened by my husband’s ex?

When I made the choice to leave those low-vibe places, I didn’t have the time. Or the money. Or the know-how.

I hadn’t the slightest clue how to create abundance.

I just knew I was made for more than waking up every single day wondering “what if…”

If you’re still reading this, then you probably also realize that you’re made for more. Whatever your more looks like. It’s part of the human experience to want to grow and expand and evolve. Which is why Warren Buffet is still going strong, and why Amazon can drop packages off on your doorstep within four hours of tapping Buy, and why women are allowed to vote, and why people can undergo lifesaving surgeries.

All because a person LISTENED to that voice that said, “what if?”

Every single millisecond of life you’ve experienced has been preparing you for something amazing.

Now, ask yourself, What If?

What becomes possible when What If becomes your reality?

What if?


If you have an itch you can’t quite scratch, click here to set up a free Discovery Call with me. The world’s your oyster, sis.

One Response

  1. Brittany this blog spoke to me so deeply, right now my partner and I are having some time apart while we think about whether we should split for good, and for all the reasons you identify in this post! It’s my lack of abundance that is keeping me stuck, and preventing me from being authentic with my partner. I am desperately seeking the first step to take action, in your experience is this counselling? I’ve had therapy before but never quite managed to unpick this stuff. What sort of therapy would you advocate and how can I set clear goals to help my therapist work with me to get this stuff resolved in my head? I’m grateful for you sharing your insights, Best wishes to you x

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