Before I joined the Stepmom Story, it sounds morbid, but most of my life was holding my breath and wishing it would hurry up and I could just be old so I could be done with these problems.
I was overthinking my whole life, stressing about how to act with the kids, unsure of my role, super awkward around them a lot of the time because I was so self conscious about how to act. I basically just wanted to hide, and meanwhile, when I’d try to communicate how difficult this was for me to my husband, we couldn’t truly understand each other and I lived in a cycle of breakdowns, becoming distant, and stuffing emotions down.
But now, I can be present with my husband. This is continuously evolving. I’m actually now experiencing a renewed sense of wanting to have fun with my husband!
I feel like I can be myself in my house. I don’t worry at all about kid days. Only need to know from a planning perspective. Every now and then I have a truly wonderful conversation with one of my stepchildren and I marvel about how I could never have had that conversation before. I am no longer afraid (in a social anxiety way) to be alone with my stepson. I now help my stepkids and give to them from a place of truly wanting to give to them.
And I can also recognize when my energy is drained and I need to protect it.
PLUS, I SOLVED the horror of doing dishes!!!!!!