How to Give Society the Finger & Step Into Your True Power
I want you to do an exercise. Don’t worry – there are no treadmills or burpees involved. (Yet.)
I want you to say the word Stepmother in your head, and ask yourself: what is the first thing that comes to mind about how society (generally) views Stepmoms?
The first words that popped into my head were:
Wicked.
Jealous.
Angry.
Insecure.
Homewreckers.
Oversteppers.
Too big, too much, too loud, too present, too demanding, too this, too that. Blah blah blah blah. (PS – I think you’re perfect.)
I have a theory or two about Stepmotherhood. Stay tuned for my first book…
But until then, allow me to explain several ways that I see societal conditioning diminish the purpose, passion, and prosperity that women – but specifically stepmothers – were born to have.
Here are 3 BIG FAT LIES society tells stepmothers that keep them BROKE, STUCK, or MISERABLE.
Lie 1: It’s A Stepmom’s Responsibility to Take Care of her Stepchildren
Lies, lies, lies.
The truth: It is a stepmother’s choice whether or not she takes care of her stepchildren.
Due to societal programming, gender roles, and most women’s conditioning not to make waves — stepmoms are generally automatically thrust into the position of caring for someone else’s kids.
It is generally an expectation that a stepmother assumes the primary childrearing role in the home – even if she does not have biological children herself.
She is expected to raise her stepchildren, while the laws of stepfamilies typically dictate that she is not generally seen by her stepchildren as their primary parenting figure.
This. Is. Bull. Shiz. And a freakin’ disaster waiting to happen.
The tricky part lies in trying to convince someone who’s been brainwashed since she was three-years-old that her primary purpose in life was to be a baby-incubator or wipe butts. Good thing I teach the solution for that.
Major Takeaway: Stepmothers have the choice to take on someone else’s kids. The unhappy ones just don’t realize it. And that’s why they stay stuck in crappy, low-paying jobs, or why they “don’t have the time” to make their dream happen.
Other posts you might like:
6 BOMB Skills Stepmoms have Learned that Give them the GRIT for Entrepreneurship
5 Hard Truths Every Stepmom wants her Husband to Know
Lie 2: Stepmom’s Time is Less Valuable than her Partner’s
Partner says: “Honey, can you drop off and pick up Stepson from soccer today? Oh, and take him to a dentist appointment tomorrow? I know you had a business thing planned, but I can’t get away from work…”
What this means: Stepmom’s time is perceived as less valuable than partner’s
Partner says: “Darling, could you skip the plans you had today to take over the world because Stepchild B is sick, and I have a golf game planned with this really important client, and…”
What this means: Stepmom’s time is perceived as less valuable than partner’s
Partner says: “Babe, I know you had plans to go back to school/start a business/grow your business but if you follow your dream, then who will watch the kids?”
What this means: Stepmom’s time is perceived as less valuable than partner’s
Before you find my house and burn it down, I’ll disclaimer this by saying that this is due to societal conditioning. Awareness is the first step.
For now, reflect on this:
How often are you expected to take on responsibilities that aren’t yours? Do these responsibilities interfere with your priorities?
How many times have you said yes without even realizing you’re sacrificing yourself and your dreams and your vacation home and your early retirement because your time is perceived as less valuable than someone else’s...
In other words, who are you giving your power away to?
Lie 3: Alimony and Child Support are Keeping Stepmom from her Dreams
Ummmmmmmmm.
No.
You know the ONLY thing keeping stepmom from her dreams?
Stepmom.
This financial agreement that exists between a stepmom’s partner and his ex has AbSoLuTeLy NoThInG to do with a stepmom.
And if you’re reading this and I’m triggering you – I want to say one thing:
Girl, step into your power. You’re not a victim. Life isn’t happening TO you. And if, for some reason, you are paying your partner’s spousal or child support… this situation may need to be reevaluated depending on the reasons behind it.
Above all else, if this is triggering you, I want you to know that it is not your fault that you think this way.
We’ve been conditioned as women, and especially as stepmoms, to believe that we are disempowered and helpless damsels in distress.
I got your back, girl. I’ve been fighting patriarchy and social conditioning since before I even knew what the heck that meant. And now I help stepmoms from around the world break free of the brainwashing and limitations that society has cast on them.
But you were put on this planet for a PURPOSE. You were BORN to make a difference, And you, too, can become LIMITLESS.
How?
First, stop buying into the 3 Big Fat Lies above.
Please send me information!! You hit the nail on the head every time I read something of yours!
Hey Nicole! Feel free to send me a DM on Instagram @thestepqueen 🙂